They say that when you’re faced with two immediate choices to choose from, and you know that you can’t really decide on your own, the best way to go about it is to flip a coin. The short time that the coin is up in the air, before it falls back down, you’ll be able to figure out which one you want more, or which choice is more appealing to you.
I tried doing it last night, and for the life of me, I DID find out what it was I really wanted more. Now, don’t think that I’m letting a simple coin decide for me, but I just wanted to check which is more important, and I’m surprised with the result. It came as quite a shock that I actually wanted THAT, when I believed otherwise. It only goes to show that you don’t really know yourself even if you think you do. (Or maybe I’m just really fickle-minded.)
How do we choose, really? Well, I sure don’t know the answer to that. I used a coin, so that should say a lot about my decision-making strategies. I know for a fact, though, that when making major decisions, you should always pray for it first. Irrational thinking will do you no good, especially when your future is on the line. I should know, because I’ve suffered too many times just by choosing the wrong things, the wrong people, and the wrong circumstances.
I’m not saying that we should all flip coins, just in case you are focusing on that point. I want you to pray for all the decisions that you would make. Don’t pray selfishly by solely asking for what you want. You should pray with an open mind and open heart, that whatever answer will be given to you, no matter how hard it’ll be to accept it——pray that you may be able to understand it and accept it eventually. It’s very difficult to accept the way things happen, especially when they’re the total opposite of how we wanted them to be. In time, though, I know the answers as to why they didn’t happen will come, and then we’ll be grateful our prayers weren’t answered the first time.
It could be you’re not yet ready, or He just knows that what He has in store for you is a hundred times better than what you’re actually praying for.
When you’re young, you have this belief that the world is your playground. You laugh, run, and play, all without a care in the world. When you get older, though, you’ll realize that it’s a huge battlefield, and you are required to make choices left and right. One wrong call and you’re doomed. One miscalculated move and you’re bound to fail. One missed turn and you’re on your way down.
Every single time you fall, make it a habit to stand up again. I have my parents (and the rest of my family, really) to thank for this. Growing up, I was surrounded with adults. I was the only kid in the house, and I was spoiled in my own ways, but was given the required discipline. I didn’t always get away with my wrongdoings, and I received the occasional spanking when the situation calls for it. My mom was never one to feel sorry when I was crying, because she knew that she needed to toughen me up, preparing me for the real world. My discipline from her started early, and again, I’m more than thankful.
Now that I’m all grown up, I still keep on making mistakes again and again. Because of my failure to oversee the consequences of my actions, I sometimes make the wrong calls in my life. I suffer for some time, and I get hurt in the process. I fall down, cry some more, get hurt even more, but no matter what bullcrap I go through, I always resurface. I always make it a point to stand up and face whatever I need to face. I’m not trying to be a tough one, but I need to be one. I’m pretty sensitive when I let myself be, so I don’t. I hate being vulnerable. There are moments wherein you could be that, but do it when you’re alone, not when there are wolves ready to devour you in a second.
However, I am but human. Sometimes, my emotions get the best of me. Sometimes, my heart feels more than my mind thinks, and in those moments, I tend to hate myself. When I let myself go, when I allow myself to feel whatever it is I feel like feeling, I procrastinate. I tend to delay my personal and career growth, and I do not like that. So, most of the time, I just shell up and just do my own thing. I know myself too much, and I know better than to allow my emotions to get the best of me.
I stay away from things that hinder my growth as a person. I let go of the things that go against my principles. I turn away from the possibilities of getting hurt by dumb reasons. I leave not because I’m a mean person, but I do so to become better in the long run. That was what I was raised for, anyway.
What were you raised for?
For the past few weeks, people often get the wrong notion that I let my anger build up easily. Could it be that they’re partially right? I’ve done some thinking about it, and I think that most of us let our anger get the best of us. Is it a defensive mechanism? A bad expression of one’s self? Or is it simply a way of life (an ugly one, at that)? I don’t think it’d be fair to say that it’s just me who displays this sudden change of mood, because sometimes, my anger (mostly annoyance) comes from my surroundings.
I am not crazy to flip in a second just because I feel like it. No. Most of the time, someone or something would trigger a switch and unleash the baby monster within me. I don’t like it when that happens, but then it happens. I do manage to control it, though, but lately, a lot of things are happening that cause my bubble to burst more often than not. I do blame it, though, on waking up on the wrong side of the bed, but then again, I feel bad for always blaming my bed and the manner I woke up in. I know deep down inside that there’s more to it than just my hormonal rage.
Like what I mentioned earlier, I’ve done some thinking (a lot, actually), and my conclusion is that: I AM GOING THROUGH THE QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS. This happens sometime between a person’s early 20s to early 30s. This occurs when a person feels doubtful about his/her life, and the stress of becoming an adult is taking its toll. I often find myself angry at random things because I know I’m supposed to be somewhere else, but instead, I’m stuck in a mediocre life, with a mediocre job, earning a mediocre salary, and I wake up every day to be a mediocre person. Yes, that’s it. Imagine living that life. Now, tell me who wouldn’t be angry with that?
Now, I’m left with no one else to blame but my sorry self, and that’s another reason for my outbursts (not that I’m making up excuses, trust me). I assure you that this write-up does not need a sermon or a ‘friendly advice’ of any kind, because I refuse to believe that no one else can relate to myself right now other than me, and if I am in need of any metaphoric beating, I would ask for it ever so willingly.
I am probably just fed up with the things that are NOT happening, more than the things that are. I seriously need to get a move on with my life. Only then would I be happier, I know that. I’ve probably been forcing myself to be contented with the things that I have when in reality, this isn’t the stage for me to be contented—-not yet. I should be working more to attain my dreams that are bigger than life. I need to push myself more, to quench this thirst I have for living a better life, instead of moping around, and accepting the mediocrity of it all.
I am often complaining about random issues: the weather, work, people, the government, lack of sleep, household chores, things to buy, food to eat, and the list goes on. I often find myself focusing more on the things that stress me out, and in doing so, the more I dwell in negativity. Starting today, though, I have decided to focus my energy on the things I love rather than the things I hate.
I would, instead, appreciate: the weather (I love summer, so I should enjoy the heat), work (it’s still better than being unemployed), people (love and hate them, they’re still there), the government (I should just pray for progress), lack of sleep (in exchange of being productive), household chores (in preparation for my future independence), things to buy (it’s all about prioritization, really), food to eat (healthy living SHOULD be the way to go), and the list will go on.
It’s not really blinding yourself of the reality, but rather, taking on a different perspective, and a better one. I’ve noticed that if I decide to be happy, I actually am happy, but if I let my anger get the best of me, the rest of my day is bound to be ruined. It’s all in the mind, they say, and oftentimes, it really is.
Why waste your seconds, minutes, hours into something that will not be beneficial to you? Why bother worrying about things that wouldn’t make a difference if you worry about them? I think we should all stop dwelling on the things that make us frown, and instead, focus on the things that bring smiles to our faces. I think the world will be a better place if we just choose happiness. It might not be perfect, but it will definitely bring about evident changes for the better.